Saturday, February 17, 2007

Habs jusqu'au bout!


Habs-crazy, Adam and I arrive way earlier than necessary


The weekend before last Adam and I met up in Montreal to see a couple of Habs games. We stayed with John and his two cats at his apartment near Rue St. Denis. These were the first NHL games Adam had ever attended, and it was a lot of fun for us to finally get to see our team together---Adam is the only person I know well who lives and dies by the Habs as much as I do. For both of us, if the Habs win, elation. If the Habs lose, depression. Whether this is healthy is another matter, but we both bleed le tricolore.


These are from the pre-game intro; the Habs are coming up on their centennial, and they display all their past logos to an instrumental of Coldplay's "Clocks". It gave me the goosebumps and I almost got a little verclempt.

And then the current CH gets bigger and bigger...

Then, something really cool: the 24 number forms on the jumbotron, and you hear Kiefer Sutherland, er, Jack Bauer, say "Previously, in Canadiens history," which leads into a montage of great Habs moments and players through the years, like Henri Richard shown here. When they get to the present, Jack Bauer comes on the jumbotron and says in French "Join us as we continue the pursuit of number 25" (the 25th Stanley Cup). The goosebumps are out of control at this point.

Then, to the tune of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" they introduce the current team, with the biggest cheers coming for Saku Koivu and Sheldon Souray.

Until Saturday's game against the Islanders, I had attended five Habs games in my lifetime (against the Blues, Penguins, Sabres twice and the Wild) and they had won all five. Things looked good after the first period; the Habs had lots of chances and the Islanders were unable to keep up, with only their goalie keeping them in the game. The Habs went ahead in the second period, but slacked off the pace a bit, and upon entering the third the Islanders tied it up and the Habs mailed it in the rest of the way. 4-2 Islanders was the final and the team left the ice to boos. My win streak was over. I never like to see my team lose, but to be the better team at the outset then stop concentrating and coast to a defeat is infuriating. So much for a successful end to Adam's first live NHL game...

That night John met up with us downtown, we had some dinner and then met up with Aura Lea, Bryon and Rachel, who were spending the weekend in Montreal in honour of Rachel's birthday. Before heading out on the town we watched the Leafs squeak out an undeserved shootout win over the Senators, which was really fun for me, a Habs fan in a room full of Leafs lovers. Their taunting almost drove me to violence. And no back up from Adam! Our first stop in the uber cold Montreal night was the Peel Pub. I would only recommend this place if you're a male university "student" who likes to drink till you're sloppy, prefers a wide selection of cheap swill over quality beers, likes the ambience of flashing siren-lights randomly going on and off, and likes bad music played at deafening, and certainly conversation-nullifying, levels. After enduring this place for a pint we took the Metro to John's neighbourhood and Le Diable Vert (The Green Devil), a club with a decidedly red, not green, facade. Whatever, it was hot and crowded and a little difficult to find dancing room, but it was fun and much better than the Peel. A very short, straight girl kept butting into our group and staring at me in a way that was half "I'm gonna kill you", half "Come hither". It was good for a laugh, but man, little people give me the heeby-jeebies.

The next day after poking around the shops near John's place, Adam and I headed downtown for the Penguins game. The Penguins are a hot commodity in NHL arenas because they have the league darling, Sidney Crosby. Just a few days beforehand the Habs and Pens had played in Pittsburgh, in what I'm told was an amazing game that the Pens won in a shootout. This time, it seemed almost conspiratorial in that the referees, or whoever is in charge of them, wanted the Pens to have an easier time of it, as they gave them six straight powerplays through the first two periods, without calling a single penalty against them. The amazingly blatant non-calls and invented calls in the Pens favour had the crowd absolutely livid. However, the Habs were playing much harder than the previous day and did a good job killing penalties, only trailing 2-1 after the second period. In the third the zebras finally called a penalty on the Penguins, and the crowd gave them a standing ovation. There have been plenty of ovations in Montreal, but I've never seen one for the refs. The third period was fantastic---lots of chances for both teams, and the Habs tied it up and then went ahead 3-2. They got a penalty late in the game, though, and the Pens made a nice play to tie it up with very little time remaining. At some point in the third Sidney Crosby felt like someone high-sticked him and he went down in a heap, but didn't get the call and then whined about it. This is what I don't like about Crosby; he's amazingly talented, but he acts like a spoiled brat sometimes.

The third period ended in a tie, so the game went to four-on-four overtime. I had seen the Habs come out victorious in two previous overtimes, against St. Louis and Buffalo, with Russ Courtnall and Alex Kovalev scoring the winners, respectively. The atmosphere was tense; the good guys were playing well, but fewer players on the ice meant more room for Pittsburgh's offensive players like Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. About two minutes in Crosby was looking very dangerous, eluding several Habs as he circled through the their zone. However, just as it looked like he was going to break free and have a golden opportunity on net, Tomas Plekanec, who had been the Habs' best player of late, made a great poke check, relieving Crosby of the puck near the Habs blueline and sparking a two-on-one in the other direction. He carried the puck into the Pens zone and fooled the lone defender into backing up too far, then made a great cross-ice pass to Sheldon Souray, who absolutely wired a slapshot just under the crossbar for the winner. Everyone jumped ten feet out of their seats, of course. It was the perfect ending to a hard game; the Habs had been put at disadvantage after disadvantage, had weathered the storm through hard work, and had come out on top...at the expense of the whiney pretty boy. The next day La Presse had a great picture of the Habs celebrating with Crosby skating off dejectedly in the background.

Back at John's I made a pasta dinner for the three of us with ingredients I got at a nice little organic produce store up the street. We watched the Super Bowl on John's tiny black and white tv---I found the tv more interesting than the game itself. Football is a major snore in my mind, and all the hype and excess around the Super Bowl only makes it worse. But sitting around with buddies, eating good food and jeering the unabashed Americana of it all was fun. A good weekend all around.

Post-script: Since that great win over the Penguins, the Habs have been putrid. Downright awful. They have lost five in a row, including two to the Senators, against whom they usually do well, and one to the Panthers, a perennial non-playoff team the Habs can never beat. In those five games they have only scored seven goals, and their star players like Saku Koivu, Alex Kovalev and Michael Ryder have contributed very little. In fact, the whole team has played like they don't care, and to top things off, Alex Kovalev and Christobal Huet are now injured. The debate around the hockey websites is whether they should make a trade for someone who can help turn things around enough to contend in the playoffs, or start unloading all their underachieving "stars" in return for young prospects. Either way, in this losing streak they went from 4th in the conference to 10th, from a comfortable playoff position, to the outside looking in. All is not well in Habland, and tonight they play the Hurricanes, a team that usually employs a run-the-goalie strategy that works well against the them.



As they might say in Liverpool
(a team now owned by the same guy who owns the Habs):
Come on you reds!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Keep the silly pictures comin'

O Holy Night


That's yours truly, starring in 2nd Floor Holy Cross Wing's Christmas Nativity Scene, 1997. As Mother Mary. Did you ever see such a head of hair? On the nativity chesterfield with me are Baby Jesus, played by Murray Lindsay, and Father Joseph, played by Adam Neal. Note the details: Baby Jesus is born with a wrist watch. Father Joseph is wearing a very modern pair of sandals, bathrobe, and towel. I think I'm wearing a bed sheet. The Christmas tree: stolen from a local lot by a couple of my wingmates...who got caught. Maybe that tree was one we actually bought after returning the stolen one, I forget.

The reason for our get up was the annual Christmas wing decorating competition between the various residence wings at St. Thomas. A keg party was up for grabs, and as usual the boys of 2nd HC took things a step further---we didn't just decorate, we animated. When the judges came to our wing, they were taken on a tour by our MC, Esty, who was decked out in his finest Christmas duds. The tour culminated in this splendorous nativity scene. Not pictured are the many bathrobe-clad wisemen and barn animals. Yes, we really did have one guy crawling around pretending to be a sheep. We served eggnog to the judges and hummed Silent Night. Did we win the keg party? HECK YES! Crappy thing is, I was not yet 19 at the time, and had to miss out on the boozing. That's the last time I get dressed up like a woman for the sake of alcohol. Oh, I've said that a few times over the years...er...umm...


A note on my co-stars: Adam Neal (Father Joseph) is now a feared litigator and all around bad-ass law-talkin' guy with a Fredericton law firm. He and I remain good friends. Murray Lindsay (The Lord Our Saviour, Baby Jesu) studied journalism and I'm sure is off spinning his whacky brand of news and sports somewhere on this planet. Murray was one of those characters you meet in university and never quite understand. I can't really put his personality into words, but to give you a sense...when the weather got warmer that year, Murray and his friend Nick put up posters for a wrestling match to take place in the campus courtyard on a certain Sunday. People didn't know what to think, but when they showed up at the appointed time and place, they were treated to a display of foolishness like no other. Murray and Nick went all out in a fake, over-dramatized, WWF-style match full of mock blows, torturous holds, not-quite-3-count pins, amazing shifts in momentum after sound beatings, and all the great set pieces to be found in the exalted theatre of manly battle. Murray, as the photo shows, was a scrawny runt of a guy, and Nick, well, was what you might call "huggable". And both were clumsy as new-born colts fed an in utero diet of screech. For me, the highlights of the match were the prop use. Nick totally nailed Murray in the face with a cafeteria tray. Where actual materials could not be obtained, the wonders of the imagination filled in: the two of them must have agreed on the approximate confines of the "ring" (the courtyard is a wide open grassy space with some trees), and they would regularly take runs across the grass and rebound back off ropes that were invisible to the crowd, but very, very real to Murray and Nick, I'm sure.

Who ya gonna call?!


More costumed nonsense, only by this point I was in grad school. For Hallowe'en in 2001 this quartet of twits got together to take the Social Club by storm in their ghost-bustin' best. From left to right, that's Chris Keirstead in the role of fearful but good-hearted Ray Stanz, Jared Cheverie in the role of ladies' man, joker-hero Peter Venkman, me as hard-workin' black man Winston Zedmore, and Adam Neal in the role of science guy Egon Spengler. Aside from being a good, drunken time, Hallowe'en at The Club also offered up a cash prize for the best-costumed, which we won, of course. How could they deny us? We scoured the city for cover-alls of that specific shade of grey, used iron-on transfers for the logos and spent hours painting them, and rounded out the outfits with canvas belts, chemical-resistant gloves, and little gadgety doo-dads from the dollar store (yes, those are bicycle reflectors). We did not have the backpacks and guns (what were they called? Ectoplasm-somethings?), but we covered every toy store in town before agreeing that they were just too antique to be found. You'll note that we are all bespectacled...in shop glasses. I'm not sure why. Only Egon is supposed to wear glasses. I think after posing for photos we were gonna go build a hutch or something.



Where are they now? Chris Keirstead (Ray Stanz) is now himself a feared litigator at a big law firm in Moncton. Chris is a pretty straight-laced guy, and I think this was one of the wilder things he did in university. You know all about Adam and me, which leaves Jared...basically, Jared Cheverie is an 8 year-old in a 29 year-old's body. If there was something silly or fun to do, Jared would do it. Jared was the driving force behind bringing the Ghostbusters together for this occasion---it was in his car that we drove here there and everywhere looking for the all the important components. He was the one who talked to Bud at Bud's Army Surplus on the north side (read "sketchy, very sketchy, run and hide") part of town. I think Jared might even have gotten an invitation to go out "huntin' and muddin'" with Bud. Yikes. Jared was also implicated in the Christmas tree story from above, and countless other residence-related shenanigans. Jared and I used to build little figurines out of celery, cherry tomatoes and toothpicks and leave them in the fake plants between the tables at the Diplomat restaurant. What does he do now? He's a teacher. Would you let this guy teach your children?



He's also getting married this summer, to Nathalie, a gal who loves his shenanigans like no one else. Congrats, Jared.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Fear Not, K-W, Barbarians Have Come to the Rescue

It seems that Kitchener-Waterloo may have a glimmer of hope in this dark hour of zombie invasion. A troupe of wandering barbarians have put aside their current "Pillage the Village" tour to come to the aid of the fair twin-cities (screw Cambridge, they're on they're own...dat's right, Lame-bridge!). This motley band claims to be the scourge of the undead. Prior to setting out on the zombie hunt, they gathered for some ale and a display of their prowess.
From left to right: Princess the Barbarian, Chaz the Barbarian, Gypsy the Barbarian, Wizard the Barbarian, Caveman the Barbarian, and Coonskin the Barbarian (seated).

Chaz the Barbarian displays the tool of his trade: twenty pounds of pure plastic signage and duct tape, the ZombieWhacker.

Caveman the Barbarian, a.k.a. Brian the Barbarian, likes to put little dogs on his shoulders and bare his teeth.

Princess the Barbarian will use her haughty stare to stop zombies in their tracks.

We're not sure how Gypsy the Barbarian will combat zombies...but, oh my.

The elusive and anachronistic Coonskin the Barbarian...doing something.

Are those barbarians that grow when you put them in water?

Gypsy the Barbarian and Princess the Barbarian enjoy a tankard of ale. Princess the Barbarian gathers her robe as she has just discovered that Gypsy the Barbarian has filched her underthings, and is hiding them behind her back, as is Gypsy custom.

We mustn't forget AlienDog, trusty sidekick of this Barbarian band. Aside from his freakish eyes, AlienDog's abilities include being impervious to plastic swords, and alienating things.

Coonskin the Barbarian and Chaz the Barbarian demonstrate what's in store for zombies:


Chaz the Barbarian has one message for all the zombies out there: "Deth = you".


Somebody's gotta chaperone these lunatics.




Brought to you by 205 Strange People.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Zombies Invade Kitchener-Waterloo

Several sightings of zombies have recently been reported in Kitchener-Waterloo. Their origin and the exact threat they pose are not yet known. However, reports say that they are dressed for the weather and have yet to begin rotting, as undead ghouls are wont to do. The following photos have been submitted, and are posted here so that you will recognize the zombies in case you come across them. In the event that this happens, we suggest defensive measures such as: running away. By no means should you confront the zombies, as with their mittens they may give you a good pawing.


A chain link fence is only a temporary barrier against zombies. Though some may become distracted and try to bite each other on the head.


Zombies want in.


And they won't take 'no' for an answer.





Don't be fooled by this zombie's air of stupefaction...


...he has retained enough brain power to know how to hide and spring out at innocent passers-by.




Should you find zombies in restive poses, follow the age-old maxim: "Let sleeping zombies lie." Never wake zombies for the sake of a picture, as the unknown photographer did in this case. We can only surmise that he now ranks among their shuffling, drooling numbers.








Sometimes a zombie just needs a buddy to lean on. Also, contrary to popular belief, zombies can smile.




Zombies often get themselves into things they can't get out of. What drew them to this dumpster is not known, but we suspect it was heaps of discarded brains.




Zombies enjoy the agrarian lifestyle.


But this one became visibly upset when he found out that he stood not in a field of wheat, but among a bunch of stupid weeds in front of a condo.





Go team zombie!



From all of the zombies...



Buh-bye!




Brought to you by 205 Strange People.

Guilty Pleasures



My two most recent CD purchases: Nelly Furtado, Loose and Madonna, Confessions On A Dance Floor. Had you told me when I was a teenager that someday I would pay money for Madonna's music, you would have given me a good laugh. Had you told me when I was in university that I would someday pay money for Nelly Furtado's, you would have earned my scorn. Times change.

Nelly Furtado actually started to grow on me with a couple of songs, "Explode" and "Forza," from her previous album. Lately if you turn on the radio for five seconds you'll hear "Maneater," which thumped its way into my head so steadily that I either had to start liking it or get a labotomy. Prior to that, "Promiscuous" was a big hit, and I didn't mind it. But just the other day I heard the third single "Say It Right" for the first time---on CBC, of all things---and that sold me. "Say It Right" is a really good tune: catchy rhythm and beat, Nelly's voice is at its best, and lyrically the song has a bit more angst and art in it than a lot of her stuff. This is the same reason I like "Explode." So I bought Loose, and it's okay. My opinion of the songs I knew hasn't changed, and I advance it to "Say It Right" a lot. The rest of it is hit and miss. She has collaborated with Timbaland and some other hip hop guys, and this means that the CD has those between-track interludes and chatter that you frequently get on hip hop albums, and are mostly fantastically annoying. All in all, some good songs mixed in with some bad ones. I've had worse returns on CD investments.

Madonna...oh Madge, you old slut, always changing your music to fit whatever is trendy. I guess I might get some kind of kitchy pleasure out of her tunes from the 80s, but I'm in no hurry to snap up the Madonna discography. However, a few months ago I downloaded "Hung Up" and "Sorry," because I heard them on the radio and they were just so bloody catchy. Since then, every time I've entered the CD store, she's been there, taunting me in her leotards on the cover of Confessions, saying "Look at how ridiculous I am. I'm fifty. You know you want to buy this CD." And Friday I gave in. Well, actually I made Shauna buy it for me, cause I was just that embarrassed.

And she's probably regretting indulging my weakness, because I've been listening to it over and over ever since. In fact just now she's fleed to the bathroom and turned on Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, as if to cleanse herself. Anyway, the two singles give you a good idea of what Confessions is like---beat driven dance music that will get tons of play in clubs. It's bumpin'. I challenge even the most anti-techno/dance types out there to listen to it and try to stop themselves from nodding along to the beat. And maybe chair-dancing a little. Every song is groovy and catchy, but never manages to cross that good/cheap techno line by devolving into nothing but a bass, drum and high-hat beat like the trash you tend to hear at hockey games. Lyrically, it also stays on the good side of the line by not being moronic. So much of the wide genre of techno has no lyrical thought behind it whatsoever---I'm thinking of that awful hit that once followed me around Ireland, "Put yer hands up in de air/Put yer hands up in de air."
The songs on Confessions are more subtly produced and layered, and while I wouldn't suggest Madonna should publish her lyrics as poetry, they're a lot better than what's found in most pop tunes. With one exception: musically, "I Love New York" is as creative as anything else on the album, but lyrically it's a bit of a laugh, opening with "I don't like cities/But I like New York/Other places make me feel like a dork." Goodness.

Guilty pleasures, Nelly and Madonna both. They are not the first to fall into this category---I am a proud...well, semi-unashamed...owner of Kylie Minogue's Fever. I've revealed my musical weaknesses. Time to restore my manliness with something nasty, like Queens of the Stone Age. Or something light years from mainstream, like...oh geez, I don't even know what the cool cats listen to these days.

La la la
La la la-lala
I just can't get you outta my head...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder


Skinny Sweaty Men

So the details of awesomeness were a little delayed.

Last Tuesday we saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the ACC. I payed many pretty pennies for floor seats, but it was well worth it. Shauna and I took good notes.

Though they've mellowed their sound in recent years (perhaps because they're in their 40s) the Chili Peppers remain my idea of a band that goes bonkers on every song. Back in the 80s they were a wierd act in a wierd decade; a band with revolving doors on drums and guitar but a consistent overdose of funk, punk, wackiness, colourful clothing or lack of it, bizarre lyrics bizarrely vocalized, phallic socks and, unfortunately, drugs (heroin claimed the life of original guitarist Hillel Slovak). If you're only familiar with the post-millennial Chili Peppers, go pick up any of their 80s albums---self-titled, Freaky Styley, Uplift Mofo Party Plan, and Mother's Milk have all been recently re-released and are fairly cheap---and you'll see for yourself. They could easily pass for two different bands. In the early 90s they lost a bit of the freakiness of their music but replaced it with more polished funk and a lot of womanizing swank on Blood Sugar Sex Magik. In between tales of feeling up female cops, there were a few more serious moments on this album, like "Under the Bridge" and "I Could Have Lied". Then mid-decade they went through a strange period of hazy sexuality on One Hot Minute. Apparently they don't get along with their then-guitarist Dave Navarro and so they never play songs from this album live, and I think a lot of fans ignore it as a kind of limbo between old and new Chili Peppers. Granted, some parts of it are pretty wussy ("Pea" and "Tearjerker"), and others are discordant ("Deep Kick") but there are excellent mellow funk tunes on the album that shouldn't be cast aside ("Walkabout", "Transcending"). After this they shifted into the Chili Peppers of today with Californication, By the Way and Stadium Arcadium. These albums still have funky elements, but they're polished and you don't quite get the sense that the band are flailing their limbs and ripping their clothes off while playing the songs---and this was definitely the sense in the 80s. And the funkier tunes now take a backseat to songs that are more straightforward rock, though they still maintain their own sound that sets them apart. This was especially the case on By the Way, a very introspective album. Some of the fans who know their 80s material don't like the three most recent albums because they're more radio friendly. I'm okay with the change---they went from a good sound to a good sound. In a way, Stadium Arcadium is more balanced, as over two discs it has a good combination of rock-it-out, funk, mellow, acoustic, even slightly jazzy ("Hey") songs with very few weak points. Definitely the best album of 2006.

We arrived at the ACC just after La Mars Volta started their opening set. They should re-title themselves La Mars Revolta. There are seven or eight guys in the band, and beyond the bassist and drummer, who create a small inkling of rhythm, I'm convinced the purpose of the rest is to make noise. Apparently they need people in the next province to hear their important noise, as they cranked the volume to an inhumane level. We left our seats and returned to the lobby after about 1.5 songs, and hung out there until LMV was done, feeling like old fuddy-duddies with fingers in our ears. Well, we were older than most of the crowd, many of whom wouldn't have been alive before Mother's Milk.

RHCP kicked off around 8:30. The crowd instantly took their feet when John, Chad and Flea played an instrumental jam for several minutes and then wound their way around to the opening chords of "Can't Stop" as Anthony came on stage. At this point the wall of lights behind the stage not only lit up in red, so did the giant fan of long horizontal bars on the ceiling, which I thought was some sort of acoustic rig to keep the sound out of the rafters. Four screens came on in front of the behind stage lights. From our floor seats it was like we were face-to-face with a multi-storey Exhibition ride about to swallow us whole. Mucho fun. Here's how the show proceeded...

"Dani California" - if you've turned on a radio in the past five months, you've heard this song. A good tune with a sing-along chorus, but a little over-played at the moment. The four screens started moving around behind the stage. It was a warm night and Anthony said something like "Is it August up here? Time to start removing layers." This turned out not to have any dirty connotations---I know you're all hoping this is when they stripped down to the old socks on their dicks routine, but it didn't happen.

"Scar Tissue" - also not a bad song, and spearheaded their new sound when it came out in 1999. Also a bit over-played, but the crowd loved it.

"Charlie" - this is a really good song off Stadium Arcadium. Very funky but also has great harmony by John. The addition of John's voice is something else that sets new and old Chili Peppers apart. He hits some beautiful notes and adds range to the vocals. Anthony has a good and very distinct voice but it doesn't go too high or low. During this song we noticed that even the guy going up and down the aisle selling pizza was dancing.

I should mention the clothes, because they were interesting. Anthony wore long shorts and an undershirt, with strange tight-fitting gloves. John wore a crushed velvet leisure suit, which combined with his long hair made him look straight out of the 70s. Flea was in a tightfitting body suit of pinkish paisley design, which was so tight it could have been mistaken for full body tattoos. Chad wore white cover-alls and matching backwards cap, making him look like a housepainter. He's also a dead ringer for Will Ferrell.

"Fortune Faded" - neat snowy background behind the stage.

"Readymade" - a heavy funk tune from Stadium Arcadium. Good solos by both John and Flea.

"Throw Away Your Television" - this song was sensory overload, which was probably the point. The four screens flashed tv clips at a dizzying rate...the only image I recall is Michael Jackson's face.

"Humpty Bump" - not one of my favourite songs off the newest album, but the best part was the giant cartoon monkey that nodded along on the stage background.

"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" - John played and sang this cover solo, and did a really nice job of it. He has several solo CDs out and one of these days I must give them a try. Everybody sang along.

"Snow (Hey Oh)" - Great song with great lyrics.

"Me and My Friends" - With the preceding songs all coming from more recent material, this oldie came out of nowhere. It really hits you over the head, too, as though Anthony and His Friends are mostly dedicated to going around smashing things.

"Stadium Arcadium" - This is a moody song that I like a lot for its harmonies. Without them I think it might fall flat, kind of like "Californication". "Califonication" got a lot of air play, but I've never liked it much; it's rhythm is boring and it just gets wrapped up in being moody without adding any flourish. For "Stadium Arcadium" the background showed the globe and various planets spinning around in space.

"Right on Time" - Catchy song from Californication. Flea ran out to the edge of the stage and played his bass like a madman.

"Don't Forget Me" - A graphicly-lyriced song from By the Way. I didn't know that the rhythm for this song is strummed on the bass.

"Tell Me Baby" - The next song at risk of over-play. Still, I like it, it's very happy funky bright.

"Soul to Squeeze" - I think this is off the Beavis and Butthead soundtrack, of all places. After this song Flea launched into a tirade of 'thank yous' to various people and things. He talked so fast I couldn't make out who/what he was thankful for, but he got a big cheer.

"By the Way" - They did this song with lots of intensity...then again, they did every song with lots of intensity. The lights were blinding here and everyone sang along. After it finished they left the stage and the crowd noise was deafening for several minutes. A spotlight flew around the place, highlighting different crowd sections and eliciting more noise.

After a few minutes Chad came back alone and played a jazzy-to-heavy drum solo. Then the other three came back and played...

"I Could Have Lied" - from Blood Sugar Sex Magik.

They then started a song I didn't recognize, complete with lyrics I've never heard. There was a guy on the stage whom I didn't recognize, and he sang along...this turned out to be just an intro to...

"Give It Away" - before bringing this song to its crescendo they did part of it in a reggae style.

Next they went into a long instrumental song that seemed to be part "Get Up and Jump" and part "Show Me Your Soul" and part a bunch of other things. Anthony jumped around and tried to throw his limbs out of joint. Then he jumped onto a tall stack of amps without using his hands. This nameless song went on for several minutes, and included a part where Anthony told John to "make those girls dance with your guitar". John played something groovy and three girls beside the stage flashed their bohooms...no, they didn't, this wasn't a Poison concert or anything. But they did dance and looked to be having a fine time.

When this song ended John and Anthony quickly left the stage...Flea walked off on his hands (the guy is a freak of nature, honestly) and Chad thanked the crowd...the lights came on and Sly and the Family Stone's "If You Want Me to Stay" played...and that was it. It was only 10:20pm, and they had played since 8:30pm. It was the most intense concert I've been to, and I was tired from dancing and singing along the whole time---we never sat down---but I was still ready for more. Pearl Jam played for a full three hours, as did the Stones. Perhaps because the Chili Peppers were well into their tour and it was the second show in as many nights they were a little tired, but I still felt like a second encore would have been nice.

So, at present I don't have tickets for any other concerts. Despite their brevity, the Chili Peppers will be a tough act to follow because of their overdose of energy they put into their music and how much I've been listening to them this year. But I think I might have become addicted to the spectacle of big concerts. Oh the flashing lights, and the crowd sing-alongs, and the lead singer's banter, and the epic solos, and all the big show set pieces...I can't get enough...




Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Shauna says...

"I'm doing a thing. It's not a thing. I'm not doing it."

Shauna just said this to me. Clearly she is going insane.

In other news, we're going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers tonight. Details of awesomeness to follow.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

My new head


The pirate look


Mulletastic!


The next day

Yup, got rid of the locks. On Friday night over some pitchers of Sweet Oblivion with Shauna, Brian, Sarah, Brenda and Gideon we buzzed my head. The job was carried out in drunkeness, but the decision had been made beforehand. I was tired of the weight of all that hair, of it falling in my face, of it being wet in the morning, of strands of it showing up all over the apartment. My hair has never been as short as it is now, and I love it! No more brushing, no more tying it back, no more fussing, no more all the other things they say in shampoo commercials---because I barely have any hair! And, in going from lots of hair to almost none, you can stop at silly haircuts along the way. Have you ever seen a more rockin' mullet?! FUBAR!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I saw NY in NY

My Year of Big Concerts reached a milestone last weekend when Shauna, my parents and I saw Neil Young at Bethel Woods Centre for the Arts in Bethel, New York. Well, technically, we saw Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, but Neil was our reason for being there. When asked who my favourite musician/group is I tend to provide a long, rambling, historical answer that in the end comes around to Neil Young. For simplicity's sake, if you look at my CD collection I have far more of his albums than any other artist or group. He's well known for his own brand of acoustic country-folkie tunes and all-out-deafening rock anthems, and I love both. On top of the fact that he's the best guitarist in the world (Jimi Hendrix once said so, so don't even try to argue with me) he's written a lot of the best lyrics in rock music. There aren't that many musicians out there that really grab me with what they say and what they play.

I would have preferred to see Neil on his own or with the 'third best garage band in the world', Crazy Horse, and from what I had experienced of their work, it was my opinion that Crosby, Stills and Nash dilute Neil's music. Basically, when they play together they're CSNY, but in truth they should be csnY, as Neil has way more power in the lead than he does as an equal part of a quartet. But, when I found tickets for the show in Bethel I knew that it was not the time to be picky; Neil turned 60 last year, so who knows how many more tours he'll have, and Crazy Horse are as predictable as their title. So I bought four tickets and last Saturday Shauna and I drove across New York (about 8 hours) and met my parents, who had driven down from PEI, at Mongaup Pond Campground in the Catskills State Park, about 40 minutes north of Bethel. NY is a very pretty state if you get off the Interstate highways, but that's a subject for another time.

Bethel Woods Centre for the Arts is a story in and of itself; it's on the site of the original 1969 Woodstock concert, at which CSNY played their second gig together. On Sunday, Stephen Stills made a crack about having stage fright, as it was only "our 4000th gig together and we're scared shitless". Bethel Woods, once a farm, is a sprawling piece of land with tall, rounded grassy hills huddled together like giant shoulders. It's mowed and manicured, with strategically placed boulders and copses of trees here and there, and the buildings where Art is Centred are architectural accomplishments of wood and glass. The stage is at the base of a bowl, with a fixed -seating area fanning out in front of it, and lawn seating at the top and to the sides. We had tickets for the lawn, and were going to sit at the top, a good distance from the stage, when Kevin realized that no one was occupying the areas to the side of the fixed seating. We quickly relocated to the side and were less than half a soccer field from the stage...I could have kicked a ball to Neil...I wonder what he'd do with it...

(On a very tangential note, the layout of the Bethel Woods Centre for the Arts reminded me a lot of the War of the Worlds scene in which the aliens converge with the human military in a huge grassy bowl of fire and explosions...I felt the slight nervousness of impending disaster as we went up and down the hillsides amid a crowd of concert-goers not unlike the displaced citizens in WoftheWs. I digress.)

The concert didn't start till around 7:40p.m. but we landed in one of the giant parking lots around 5p.m. From my parents' Roadtrek we watched the tailgate barbecues and pigskin-tossing going on around us. To fit in with all this Americana we drank some Busch and Miller swill, and Kevin watched Nascar on his new flatscreen mini-tv. I wonder if I can type Nascar as it's pronounced in the States...Nas-cahr...Nahs-cuahar...Nas-quahar...whatever, just say it with as much mumble on the vowels as possible and you'll get it. Then we toted our blankets, mini-chairs and extra clothing through the gates and down to the concert bowl, rearranged our seating as I mentioned, and settled in for the show.

Prior to the show I hadn't actually heard any of Neil's latest album, Living With War, so I didn't know much about the songs, other than that they were very critical of the U.S. government. The four guys took the stage and launched right into "Flags of Freedom," a song that begins with the lines "Today is the day our younger son/Is going off to war/Fighting the age old battle/We've sometimes won before". This song, and the rest of the new album as I've since found out, marks a move back toward loud, electric Neil, showing that he hasn't completely mellowed into acoustic-folkiness in his old age. Obviously a distorted electric guitar adds a little more oomph to angry songs calling for the President's impeachment and railing against the state of the world than an acoustic one does. Neil has also added a new drummer, Chad Cromwell, who has a hard, driving style similar to Pearl Jam or the Stones. The first set consisted of these new rockers, with Crosby, Stills and Nash singing harmony or taking alternate lead breaks, and older CSNY classics, with C, S or N taking the lead and everyone else supporting. While I didn't know the music so well, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would; the CSN songs were better than I predicted and the new Neil stuff was everything I had hoped for. Neil wore a green military shirt with a matching hat and tilted back-and-forth heel to toe as he played, like a big rocking horse. David Crosby sang the lead on a few songs and played acoustic support on others with the neck of his guitar pointed at a 45 degree angle in a more a classical style. His voice is similar to Willie Nelson's, which I liked. When he wasn't playing guitar on a song, he stood at the mic with his arms at his sides, big belly sticking out, his Einstein-like grey hair all over the place and a big smile constantly present under his bushy moustache. He was Shauna's favourite. Stephen Stills wore a somewhat-hideous red, white and blue Hawaiian shirt and was very energetic, deeply bending into a lead break here, jumping up and down there. He has mannerisms and a voice very similar to Joe Cocker, and with his barrel chest and gut on short legs played an interesting contrast to Neil, who remains the tall, reedy one in the group. Graham Nash was very much Mr. Polished Average...he sang some nice songs, did the most talking to the audience, had the most kempt hair and clothing and reminded me a lot of Paul McCartney. For that reason I found him the least interesting.

The second set opened with a more acoustic feel, and they each took a turn leading a song on the piano. Neil's tune was "Only Love Can Break Your Heart" which was the first song that I fully recognized and could sing along to---before then it was all Living With War material, or CSNY songs that I might have heard before but didn't know well. The true diehard Neil Young fans out there might chastise me for ignoring all the material he's produced with CSN, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Maybe after seeing them and having them rise in my estimation, I'll pick up an album or two. I was hoping the second set would continue this way, with more of Neil's own material, but it switched back to CSNY stuff for awhile until returning to politics with "Find the Cost of Freedom". After this song a strange ceremony took place. Jimi Hendrix's version of "Star-Spangled Banner" played loudly over the speakers, the band abandoned stage and a ten-foot microphone rose up from the fog. A man, woman and boy walked on stage and pinned a giant yellow ribbon to the mic. Then they stood there contemplating it sadly for the rest of Hendrix's song. I couldn't tell if they were actors or a real family that had lost a son or daughter in Iraq. When this song ended, the band returned to the stage and struck up "Let's Impeach the President," the new album's most overtly critical song. The big screens displayed the words for people to sing along, and then footage of George W. Bush saying various things about Iraq, Saddam Hussein, weapons of mass destruction, etc. and promptly contradicting himself, while Neil and the crowd shouted "Flip! Flop!" The crowd clearly shared Neil's opinion, but there was some booing during this song, notably from an old guy behind me, who, despite being decked out in tie-dye, had earlier asked his wife "Which one is Neil Young?" He got a lot of disapproving stares for his boos.

This song then led into "For What It's Worth," the most famous Buffalo Springfield song that is now synonymous with war and the world turning ugly. After that "Ohio," the song about the Kent State University protest shootings in 1971, was bookended by two CSNY songs I didn't recognize...and then everyone went wild with the unmistakeable percussive aggression of the opening chords of "Rockin' in the Free World." I don't think I know of any other songs quite like this one. It possesses such a hard-hitting rhythm, such scorn and anger in its lyrics, and Neil is famous for going into throes of guitar wildness while playing it (if you don't know what I mean, go to youtube.com and do a search for "Neil Young Rockin' in the Free World"...the top result is his rendition on Saturday Night Live in 1989, one of the greatest rock performances ever). As much as this song is bombastic, as much as it's testosterone-induced, it can't be denied. It's hard to be articulate about it---it's a song meant to blow speakers, to piss-off your neighbours, to knock over shit, to middle finger modern life---yet it's so lyrically cutting ("We got a thousand points of light/For the homeless man/We got a kinder, gentler machine gun hand"...peerless). An amazing display of muscle, emotion and thought. At Bethel the song went on forever, with both Stills and Neil playing lead breaks, and culminated in waves of deafening noise during which Neil broke half the strings on his guitar but kept playing. The band came back to play "Woodstock" as an encore, but in comparing intensity it was like a walk to the corner store after a marathon. I felt battered and bruised and out of breath and could only half pay attention.

Clearly this concert was very political, and very anti-war. At different times on the stage backdrop they projected the peace symbol normally, then skewed sideways and dripping paint, a silhouette of a helmeted soldier, and the yellow ribbon. During "Living With War" they played footage of Iraq and Afghanistan on the big screens in a mock-CNN style, with LWW in place of the station acronym, and anti-war statistics on a news ticker at the bottom. I think it was during "Find the Cost of Freedom" that the big screens displayed thumnail photos of all the Americans killed in Iraq, while at the bottom a casualty counter rose into the thousands. I've read a few tour reviews on the web and some are critical of it, calling it more of a political rally than a concert. Well, so what? The album is very political and harsh because it's responding to a very harsh time. I think some of the criticism hints at how bombastic and one-sided Neil's stance is, as though he doesn't understand the bigger picture. I counter that he's railing against a President and a government that have no clue about the bigger picture of the world, or if they have a clue, are burying their heads in the sand and taking a numb-skulled Us vs. Them approach. Neil's response is raw, but it's not unintelligent or uninformed. The album cover of Living With War is plain beige packaging, with the words painted in military stencil; I think the message is that it's an urgent time and there's very little that is subtle about it anymore.

All in all, it was a fantastic concert. I might have liked more of Neil's own material, but the CSNY songs were very good and I'm less opposed to adding some of their music to my collection now (and I'm going to own all of Neil's own albums sooner or later, anyway). The open air venue was fantastic, though they didn't have the asshole detector turned on at the gate: the old booing idiot; a teenage girl who insisted on standing up and "grooving" out of sync with the music, tossing her hair around narcissistically and all the while blocking the view of we seated folk; and a bizarre trio of an old guy who was either falling down drunk or had lost all equilibrium through illness but either way was extremely rude, his female caregiver and her husband who went on an expletive-laced tirade against her near the end of the show for bringing the old guy along to be babysat---all these people managed to get in and dim the glow on the show a bit. Was it the best concert I've seen? I think I'll hold off on a pronouncing the answer to that. You see, there's a long and detailed explanation as to why Nine Inch Nails, The Rolling Stones and Pearl Jam are also deserving of that title, yet no single show can quite claim it, I'll start with Nine In---....[I'm tuning myself out here]...

Next up: The Chili Peppers, Sept. 26 at the ACC...

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Midsummer

Since last post...

-I scored tickets to see Neil Young on August 13th and the Red Hot Chili Peppers on September 26th. Shauna, my parents and I are seeing Neil in Bethel, NY at the Bethel Woods Centre for the Arts. This is on the site of the original Woodstock 1969 concert. Unfortunately, it's not only Neil who's playing; he's on tour with Crosby, Stills and Nash, the three biggest diluters of his music I've ever heard. After reading Shakey, the Neil Young biography, and reading of how he and Stephen Stills rarely got along, I don't know why they still play together. Others may think otherwise, but I've never thought CSNY has made good music. Where is Crazy Horse when you need them?
The Chili Peppers concert is at the ACC, and takes place exactly one year after I saw the Stones at the Rogers Centre. I'm very pumped for this show; Shauna and I have been listening to Stadium Arcadium almost non-stop over the last two months. It's just that good.

-the two soccer leagues I play in are in full swing. One of my teams is in first place, the other in third or fourth I think. Playing goalkeeper for one, midfield for the other.

-I watched every France game as Les Bleus made their dreamy run to the World Cup final after everyone had written them off as has-beens. Everyone knows about how the final turned out and the bizarre Zidane headbutt incident, but I still wear the French jersey with pride. As people who have broached the subject with me are probably tired of hearing, I believe France won the game, they simply lost the shootout. The Italians were no match for the French attack, but fortunately for them their goalkeeper made some big saves, the French coach made the wrong subsitutions and David Trezeguet hit the crossbar.

-my bathroom exploded. In renovations. The floor of our shower was no longer water-tight, so Brian and Sarah decided to rip out the shower stall, sink and set tub entirely and redo it all. The tub is installed and at the moment Brian is working on the tiling. It's taken a lot of patience and adjustment, but it's going to be a nice bathroom when it's done.

-Shauna and I had a fun, if hectic, two-week vacation in the Maritimes. Highlights included biking the biggest hill I've ever biked to get to Marianne Falls on the Cabot Trail (and then flying back down in the dark); braving the choppy Bras D'or Lakes on a rough day in Shauna's Dad's little boat; making it to the final of the Codiac Cup soccer tournament in Moncton with my old Fredericton team, only to lose (such tragic heroes, just like France); hiking the woods at Millvale and making plans for our dream home/farm/woodlot; visiting Pioneer Farm in Prince County, where the off-the-grid, organic farm dream is being realized; and seeing lots of family and friends in Fredericton, Cape Breton and PEI. Didn't manage to see everyone---Dave and Nancy are two notable absences---but the trip home only further solidified our desire to finish up work and school in Ontario and move back to the Island, and hopefully we'll be able to see everyone more regularly as soon as next summer. We've even started looking at Island real estate websites...

That pretty much sums it up. The major events, anyway. It's too hot to sit in front of a computer and type these days, but maybe I'll start posting more often again in the fall.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Hail hail the lucky ones

What's the matter, Stone?

First: do you like zombies? Do you think zombies get a bum rap, that they deserve more respect? Do you think they occupy an important niche in our cultural mosaic? If you find yourself saying "Yeah...HECK YEAH!" then scroll down a ways to a post called "Zombie Freakout!" It's the third one down, just past the Leafs faerie. [Stupid blogspot insists on putting that post third from the top because I started it back in March and made some other posts before finishing it. Stupid blogspot. Or stupid Ryan for not being able to figure out how to reorder his posts.]

Okay, now you're informed on zombies or you just skipped it because you want to read about those handsome gentlemen pictured above. On Wednesday Stevie G and I saw Pearl Jam play at the ACC. I think it's fair to say that for both of us this was a seminal event in our lives; I fell in love with Pearl Jam the first time I heard "Jeremy" back in the heyday of grunge when I was a mere 12 years-old. I take credit for turning Steve on to the band not long after that. Through our teenage years we were the biggest, and for awhile the only, Pearl Jam fans in East Wiltshire Junior High and Bluefield High Schools. We both bought every album the moment it came out, and then proceeded to analyze each one endlessly. When Vitalogy came out in 1994 I wrote a prose poem that made use of all of the song titles. It was on my bedroom wall till just a few years ago when I decided I couldn't bear the reminder of my teenage writing skills anymore. I think love of Pearl Jam was a big factor in both Steve and I learning to play the guitar when we were teenagers. In our minds rock star was clearly the most promising career choice.

I loved Pearl Jam all through high school and into university, but then around the time they released multiple recordings of concerts on CD, my love faded a bit. I'm not completely certain why. I still bought their albums, but not the moment they came out. Riot Act, the last album before the one they're currently touring, really didn't thrill me, and I've probably only played it five or six times. When Steve discovered that tickets were still available for both Toronto concerts, I said I would go but I admit that I hesitated slightly. And even taking the TTC downtown to the ACC on Wednesday I was not as excited as I thought I would be. Going to the concert felt like a symbolic gesture, a nod to past obsession now empty of enthusiasm.

Pearl Jam took the stage not long after the opening act to chants of "Ed-die, Ed-die". In blue lighting they opened with the slowly-building "Release", a song neither Steve nor I predicted they would play. Before they took the stage Steve and I passed the time by coming up with lists of the songs we thought they would play. Steve took the stance that they would play their hits and well-known songs to please the fans. For contrast, I predicted mostly non-hits and less popular songs, relying on the scorn the band has shown through the years for hits and music videos and radio-repetition.

Here's what they played...
Release
Worldwide Suicide
Life Wasted
Severed Hand
Hail Hail
Unemployed
Dissident
Evenflow
Corduroy
I Am Mine
Low Light
The Whipping
You Are
I Got Id
a few bars of Cinnamon Girl
Betterman
Jeremy
Marker in the Sand
Black
Rearviewmirror

[Encore]
Wasted Reprise
Man of the Hour
Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town
State of Love and Trust
Do the Evolution
Alive

[Double Encore]
"Don't leave us/Don't go/To-ron-to"
Go
Crazy Mary
Fuckin' Up
Indifference
Yellow Ledbetter, with Beast of Burden mixed in

Steve predicted 14 of those and I got 6. I guess this points to the fact that Pearl Jam has mellowed over the years, and have realized that concerts are about having a good time. There was a time when they were an unhappy bunch and had a reputation for playing without emotion, as though concerts were manual labour. This was in the same period as their crusade against Ticketmaster, and while they're no less politically-motivated these days (Eddie told the crowd during "Fuckin' Up," that "George Bush really likes this song") now that they're in their 40s they clearly like to have fun again. Mike McCready constantly runs around stage and jumps and does funny little dance moves; Jeff Ament punctuates big notes with splay-legged jumps; Eddie Vedder talks to the crowd constantly; Stone Gossard remains comparatively subdued, but bobs his head along to the music (maybe, after all these years, he still has to concentrate to play guitar properly) and I couldn't really see Matt Cameron behind all his drums and cymbals, but there was lots of crashing and banging. They've also added another member, whether permanent full-time or only for now I don't know: keyboardist Boom Kasper. From where we were sitting he looked like some flabby-armed, grey-bearded, long-haired biker pounding away on a piano like it was his opponent in a bar brawl. I really don't know how he managed to play it properly while carrying on like that, but for the most part I couldn't hear his contribution. I don't think he really fits with the band, but hey, as long as he doesn't wreck the music...

So they rocked on through 30-odd songs over 3 hours. In addition to blistering crescendos in practically every song, the show had lots of the little things that make a concert entertaining. In "Evenflow" Eddie said "Check this shit" before Mike launched into a behind-the-head guitar solo. "Jeremy," a song that foreshadowed the Columbine school shootings, ended with Jeff playing an eerie riff while lit by a red spotlight. The crowd practically sang "Betterman" all by itself (this is my absolute least-favourite Pearl Jam song, but I sang along too). The band payed several tributes to "Uncle Neil," from Eddie playing a few solo bars of "Cinnamon Girl," to the song "I Got Id" from the Pearl Jam/Neil Young Merkin Ball release, to "Fuckin' Up"---a cover that is actually better than the original in my mind. Eddie got the crowd to shout "Happy Birthday, Sean!" which was recorded for sending to Sean Kinney, the drummer of Alice in Chains, currently on tour in Portugal (I didn't even know they were still together). Eddie made a few "global village" comments, such as pointing out the person in the stands behind the stage waving the Brazillian flag and the person in front waving a Canadian one, and comemorating the crowd as "so many individuals, with so many variables, that coming together like this is something special".

Just like sitting through a friend's photos and stories from a vacation to Europe, it's hard to share the enthusiasm and awe of a concert without having been in the crowd, so I'll halt the praise train right about here. Suffice to say the show totally renewed my appreciation for the band. I stood through most of it, sang along, bobbed my head...maybe not as physically compelling an experience for me as it was for the girl to my right, who shouted and jumped and seemed about to tear her clothes off, or the fat ball-capped guy in front of me who played an imaginary drum set and shook his head and generally seemed to be in the throes of something mystical. But man, I felt it.

I was particularly appreciative of the tributes to Neil Young and the brief one to the Stones, tying together three of my all-time favourite artists. If there is a "Big Four" group of concerts I must see in my life, I've now seen three of them: Nine Inch Nails (spring, 2000), The Rolling Stones (last September) and now Pearl Jam. Only Neil Young remains, and I fear that this will be the most difficult one to get to, with his age and smaller and smaller tour schedule. Not that he isn't still producing music---just yesterday while picking up the new Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chili Peppers CDs I saw that he has yet another album out: Living With War. By the album and song titles it's clearly very current affairs, which, in Neil's case, can mean it's a groaner (like "Let's Roll" the song he released after 9/11) or a gem (like "Ohio," his classic about the Kent State shootings in the early 70s). Fanning out beyond the big four, I'd really like to see the Chili Peppers (new album=new tour, so maybe they're next), Tool (new album out, but Toronto show already sold out), Radiohead (no idea), Queens of the Stone Age (just missed them), Coldplay (no idea), Bob Marley (he's dead...) and the list goes on. A little ways down that list is INXS, whom I happen to be seeing in a few hours, again with Steve at the ACC. I like INXS, and have enjoyed their 80s swagger since I got Kick on tape when I was 8. However, I feel a bit smarmed by the way they used a reality TV show to put themselves back in the spotlight. Of their new singles, I like "Pretty Vegas" but "Afterglow" is too schmaltzy. Nonetheless, Steve assures me the album is good, and hopefully they'll play a few of their classics tonight, though it will be different without Michael Hutchence singing them. And both Steve and I have recognized that after having finally seen the band that has been a major focus of our friendship through the years, anything else is a little anti-climactic.

Why do I keep fuckin' up?

Saturday, April 22, 2006

The sense to come in out of the rain

New Order - Get Ready


I'm in love with weather.

How boringly Canadian is that? I classify days according to weather type, so that when I get up in the morning and look out the window I think 'This day is like a day so many weeks/years ago. That means I'll feel this particular way and these particular activities are appropriate.' It's not that literal or intentional, but upon seeing the outdoor air for the first time each day some unconscious part of me makes a decision or takes a first step down a pre-trod path with stops at given moods and actions.

Today in Kitchener it's not raining, but it's misting. Tiny beads of water buzzing around in the air. The grass is a wetter green. The tops of the office buildings downtown are half not there. It's cool enough to keep your hands in your pockets, but you keep rubbing your fingers together because the air makes your skin warm and smooth. On days like this I want to move to Ireland or England and live in a small village with two pubs, a castle ruin, a few friendly stray dogs and a lot of wool sweaters. Shit, every day I want to move to that village. Or that small town in the south of France that's bursting with colourful vegetation, has a section called the medieval village, a bunch of old men playing petanque and stone walls that are pinkish-beige from all the heat they've absorbed over the ages. But I'll put my tourist idealism away for a few minutes.

The actions appropriate for a day such as this include hiking through the gloom of anything manmade now sprouting with weeds, ferns, and the general greenery of reclamation. Also mixing the fumes of an outdoor laundry vent with what you can recall of age three. Also drinking wine far too early in the afternoon and listening to Van Morrison. Also watching a dog dream. Also frequenting places beneath more than the sky, like basement apartments, underbellies of overpasses, concrete drains, subway stations, caves if you can find them.

Today I have a sexy To Do list that includes items like 'Do taxes' and 'Clean AXMT'. (AXMT 263 is our car. When he lived in New Brunswick he was Gil, flame of Anne of Green Gables. Now he is Axmit, long-haired guitarist of the Norwegian band Valhalla's Vengeance.) Was 'Write stuff' on the list? No! I flout thee, itemized controller of my life. I fart in your general direction.

Awhile back I wrote about my music collection, and about the tie-in of albums and memories. Music collections these days less frequently occupy shelf space, and more often are hosted in devices that look like sticks of gum or small calculators. Or fat, pastel-coloured beans, in the case of Shauna's, which she left on the couch here beside me. 'Album' is to 'playlist' as 'horse and buggy' is to 'car'. While I have a significant amount of mp3s on my computer, I am faithful to the discman, the stereo, the cases---pleasing square plastic units, slim building blocks of the tower of song. I call myself a collector, though I'm not as hardcore as the vinyl-heads. Music doesn't need added imperfections in my mind.

I estimate between 300 and 400 CDs in my collection. Did I buy them all brand new? Heck no. If $25 is the average cost of a new CD and I have, say, 350 CDs, that's $8750 shelled out for CDs in the past ten years. Jumpins. The only time I buy a CD full price, brand new is when it is a new album of a band I really like or when I feel like throwing cash around because I'm a complete fool. Aspiring CD collectors listen up, I will fill you in on the secrets...

Hit your local used-CD store. Many years ago, like when I was in grade six, I remember how kids considered it terribly gauche to shop at Charlottetown's primary used-clothing store, Froggy's. This was the late eighties, decade of the materialistic and fashionistic. These values were cast aside in the early nineties when grunge scorned the new and polished for the slack, the well-worn, the worn-out and the dirty. I haven't seen the receipts, but I'm sure business picked up at Froggy's, and I do know that several other used-clothing stores and even a few 'retro' boutiques opened up for a cut of the market. The about-face in attitudes was startling, even in PEI where trends arrive at the speed of a rowboat crossing the Northumberland Strait. Anyway, in the music world, used-CD shops never suffered the same scorn. The oldest one in PEI is Back Alley Discs, which, though it no longer resides in a back alley, is still in operation. Back Alley is operated by a well-known figure of the Island music scene, and the merchandise you'll find there is more for the discerning collector; it's a small boutique and there's no place in the bins for twenty copies of Third Eye Blind's debut album. Instead, you'll likely find artists you've never heard of and the less common albums of artists you have heard of. I bought The Police's Zenyatta Mondatta and Neil Young's Zuma at Back Alley, for example, among many other albums over the years. The prices there are reasonable---usually $8 to $10, or slightly more for really rare goodies. Every trip home entails a stop in at Back Alley, even if just for old time's sake. In other cities I've found similar stores; small, discerning, always with intriguing music playing on the stereo, maybe a little incense burning, and often operated by a musician or feverish collector with a striking similarity to John Cusack's character in High Fidelity. Fredericton has Back Street Records (what is it with good music and out-of-the-way thoroughfares?); Toronto has similar places about once every two blocks. I usually leave these places with one or two harder-to-find albums of bands that I already know and like.

There are also used-CD stores with less ambience, less atmosphere of discernment, but a lot more volume. We're talking bin upon bin. While you will have to wade through twenty copies of Third Eye Blind, Britney Spears One More Time, Hootie and the Blowfish Cracked Rear View and other albums people have realized are crap and shed like pestilent blankets, you will come across the occasional goodie. I call this process sifting, and while doing it I usually carry a metal pan and mumble through missing teeth about the mother lode that eluded me at the Klondike. Don't bug me while I do this and definitely don't cut in front of me in the alphabetical rows, pardner, or you'll see the business end of my 'coon musket!

Anyway. As compared to the Back Alley boutiques, these places are warehouses, and while you might not feel as cool shopping there, they definitely serve a purpose. Usually the prices are slightly lower, between $5 and $8, making it possible to purchase more than one or two albums at a time. The Cash Converters chain is a good example of this type of CD store, though they require patience as the staff spend little time on inventory management so the bins are often spilling over into boxes on the floor, the place has the sad atmosphere of pawn/junk shop desperation, and they will accept anything, so you have to be prepared for even more copies of Hootie's Shitty Album #3, or whatever. (Or REM Monster, an unexpected presence among this shameful crew...don't know what happened there.) You won't find Pink Floyd's Ummagumma there, but if you're missing a popular classic like The Wall, you might come across it. Granted its case will be scratched and the liner notes may be water-damaged, but the album should still be playable.

My favourite of the warehouse stores is unquestionably Digital World on Dundonald St. in Fredericton. DW is a great store, and I spent many a sifting hour there. Several features make it stand out. Like Cash Converters, it sells used musical instruments, video games, computers, movies and CDs; however, the staff keep the place clean and in order, and the merchandise is in general of much better quality---they will not accept John Doe's broken junk and try to sell it back to their customers. The place is staffed by a bunch of happy young long-haired guys who all play in local bands, know their music and clearly enjoy working there. Usually when you bring a stack of CDs to the counter they offer a few comments on a gem or two you've picked, boosting your collector ego. (If a hip musician approves, you must have taste.) Conversely, if you select a complete groaner, they don't point it out or even give you a scornful eyebrow raise unless you ask for their opinion. Remember the scene in High Fidelity where Jack Black's character will not allow an average square father to buy a silly record for his daughter and ridicules him right out of the store? Don't worry, this won't happen at Digital World.

When it comes to the actual CDs, they have tons and while there is some crap, a lot of it has been shuffled off to the $2 bin. Most times I go there I manage to find 5 to 10 CDs of solid quality and middling rarity. I've only found one other store that manages to successfully combine volume and discernment, which I'll get to in a minute. This combination, and the reasonable $5 to $8 prices, makes DW the best store to try out new artists, whether it's bands you've heard of but never heard or bands that are completely foreign but have a cool name or an artful album cover. I didn't amass my collection by only buying the work of bands I was already familiar with; you have to go out on a limb and follow a hunch every now and again. This pays off sometimes and burns you others; case in point my trials of New Order and Pet Shop Boys. I will probably never, ever play that Pet Shop Boys album again (but will not get rid of it, that's collector folly) but now own three New Order albums, am looking for more, and am in fact listening to Get Ready as I type, which they released in 2001 and all out rocks. Those of you not interested in foppish British bands from the eighties might ask 'what's the difference between New Order and Pet Shop Boys?' I shake my head in sadness at your philistinism.

The other quality/quantity store I referred to is Sonic Boom, which I recently discovered in Toronto. It actually edges out Digital World in terms of both; you could park several school buses in the store space, and its merchandise is extensive, constantly updated, of highest discernment (I have seen many CDs I've never heard of but look so very cool there) and meticulously classified according to genre and artist. It is also staffed by a bunch of guys who look like musicians, or at least they sport all the usual trappings---long/messy hair, tattoos, intentionally grubby clothes. They don't have the welcoming exhuberance of DW's staff, though, and there is a slight element of Toronto-ism to them---if they let you into their coolness club, it might dilute it a bit. But they're not snooty waiters, either, so don't worry that they'll sniff if you bring a Madonna album to the counter. Sonic Boom truly is the Cadillac of used-CD stores in my experience, but in a couple of ways I still prefer Digital World. One: their pricing is much better; Sonic Boom's prices range from $6.95 for used CDs marked 'scuff' (small scratches that aren't really noticeable in playback) to upwards of $20 for new, rare stuff. I would say the average price is $10.95, so buying several CDs still hits the wallet harder...and it's hard not to haul a pile to the counter every time you visit. Two: I can't believe the management of Sonic Boom, whom I assume are collectors and connaisseurs par excellence, have not come to the realization that it is much easier to please your CD junky clientele if you STORE YOUR DAMN CDs WITH THE SPINES FACING UP! Back Alley Discs gets this right, as does Digital World, but Sonic Boom prefers them with the spine to the left, so that to see all the titles you have to flick through with your fingers, a process that not only takes much longer, it also fills the store with a headache-inducing clack-clack-clack noise that drowns out whatever good music is playing and generally reduces the pleasure of sifting. If it weren't for Sonic Boom's redeeming qualities, this would be enough for me to never darken their doorway again. Frustration aside, I do love you, Sonic Boom. Just the other day you provided me with...

New Order Get Ready - already discussed, am very pleased with.

Sleeping Lords of Iona We Found A Love In The Streets But It Was Not Ours - never heard of them but I bought the CD because it was really cheap, I love the band name and album title, and the album cover bears an appealing photograph of a below-mountain village in Japan. The music: pretty good, trip-hoppy, kind of like recent Radiohead with a female singer.

Everything But the Girl Temperamental - everybody knows "Missing" ('And I'm missing you/Like the deserts miss the rain') but I think this duo deserves to be much more than a one-hit wonder. This is a good album; catchy beats and electronica mixed with a really nice voice and decent lyrics. Sadly, I also suspect that they never became more popular, at least in North America, because Tracey Thorn, the singer, isn't very good looking.

Run Lola Run Soundtrack - have been looking for this since seeing the movie several years ago. It's a decent, if repetitive, collection of mid/late nineties techno and listening to it makes me want to run around the city like Franka Potente. Man, she must have been in shape after filming that movie.

So there you have my latest purchases. Gee, there's a lot of synthesizers and drum machines on those albums and nary an acoustic guitar. Must be Toronto's urban hipness rubbing off on me.

Okay, so I've filled you in on used-CD stores. They're all you need to know about in order to start building a good collection, right? Wrong. Used-CD stores are key, perhaps central, but there are other important resources you should not neglect.

Your local library. 'Ryan, you're suggesting I steal CDs from my library and keep them for myself?!' Never. Don't be foolish. Borrow them. Pop them in your computer. If you have a program like Real Player, it will coyly suggest that you save the songs to your library. Why say no? You have a copy of the songs, and the CD goes back to the library for another patron to enjoy. You can then leave the songs on the computer or burn them to a blank CD.

There are pros and cons to the library resource. It is obviously the cheapest way of obtaining new music, so there's zero chance that you'll get burned by chancing it on an album that appeals to your curiosity in even the slightest way. Purely for the silly name I once signed out Shekkie II Electric Boogaloo by deservedly unknown Canadian band Dig Circus. It sucked but I payed nothing save a few minutes of aural pain for it, so no biggie (and no shekkie). Again, the flipside of this is that you can chance it and come across something good, like the time I signed out The Bravery's self-titled debut because I thought the cover was pretty. The Bravery is another contemporary throwback to eighties pop, like The Killers, but what their album lacks in soul and substance it makes up in catchiness. Obviously you don't get to keep the original CD and liner notes, which I would prefer to have, but I'm not so much of a purist that I won't include burnt CDs in my collection. Also, every so often I get thirsty for a different sound but none of my favourite bands have a new album out; the library is a great place to place to go and randomly select some new bands and hopefully uncover at least one or two worth adding to the List Of Bands I Like And Therefore You Should Too.

The library does have its limitations. Back in Fredericton the public library only lets you sign out four CDs at a time. This can be a blessing in disguise as their collection isn't that large, so you can't exhaust it very quickly. I was bowled over when the nice lady at the Kitchener Public Library told me I could sign out as many CDs as I wish. However, their collection isn't much larger and I think now, after having made about five mass sign-outs, I might have exhausted the supply of CDs that bear any interest to me. Also, as libraries are not for profit you won't find the newest releases, and the nice librarians don't select CDs with the same eye for quality and rock 'n roll as the staff of my favourite used-CD stores. Library collections seem to be mandated for Can-con, which is a notion I support, but it's probably only thrilling to actual Canadian artists and devoted Tom Cochrane fans. For some reason, these Tom Cochrane fans never seem to make it to the KPL, as his CDs are never signed out. I wonder why. Also, libraries try to cater to all demographics so the Pop/Rock section is rivalled in size by snores like Gospel, Adult Contemporary and World Music. This is great if you're a Richard Clayderman fan, but again, these fans never seem to come around...

Finally, not every CD in the new-CD stores is prohibitively priced. MusicWorld has always been my favourite chain because they frequently sell new CDs for less than $18, or 2/$25, or even as cheap as $9. HMV has similar deals. The one thing you have to ask yourself is "Am I buying this because I really want it, or is the low price making me overlook the likelihood of crappiness?" Sometimes these CDs are cheap because, face it, they suck. I once bought a David Gilmour album on the premise that it was cheap and hey, he's the singer from Pink Floyd so it must be good. Well, I've heard worse, but suffice to say I haven't taken that album off the rack in years. But, again, taking the risk can pay off---I don't know how many times I've seen Esthero's Breath From Another for $9 at MusicWorld and I assure you, it is a very good album.

So, to sum up, CD collecting is like any other form of investment; if you select your risks wisely, they are more likely to provide good returns. I hope you have enjoyed the Ryan Conway Seminar On...shit, that's so cheesy. I can't be bothered ending with a flourish, so I'll just stop typing now and you can put up with it.